Men can be distant
In a relationship men can behave in a distant way. This is
typical for them in every relationship. Men need to maintain their
individuality in any relationship regardless of how smooth it was or wasn’t
going. Men will take time out for themselves for a season. Then after some time
to themselves they will come back to the relationship feeling refreshed and
able to give the intimacy and deep connection that she wants. Women will often
be blindsided by their behavior and beat themselves up believing his behavior
is a result of something she’s done, however this is normal in every man.
If he has been keeping this distant behavior up for a long
while, then it’s possible that he is incapable of letting others in. This can
be a sign that there are deeper issues involved and some consideration should
be given as to if he is able to ever let others in and the personal baggage
that he could be carrying.
They aren’t
romantic / emotional
Women will want their man to be emotional enough to form a
connection with them. They want to be able to connect on the same emotional
level. Men need to be taught to connect on a romantic and emotional level.
Throughout their lives they have subconsciously had to put on a strong display
for others to see, because it’s what they were expected from other men. They
may also believe that women will only find them attractive if they keep showing
this face, and never show their emotions or be vulnerable.
To combat this false thinking, women need to communicate
directly with them and continually remind them that being vulnerable and
connecting on an emotional level is what’s attractive to a woman’s heart, that
it’s what you want in a relationship. This false belief has been taught
throughout their lives, so some persistence in letting them know the truth may
be needed.
He doesn’t do
romantic things anymore
Women can want their partner to do romantic things for her
every now and then. To help him do so, be the first to do good things for him.
As the saying goes, in order to get love, you have to give it first. Rather than
being critical, be the first to do romantic or good gestures for him. As a
result, men will often respond in kind, no one likes letting a good gesture go
unnoticed.
Many times men want to do romantic gestures for their partner,
but the stress and busyness of life can get in the way. So to help any couple
out, women can jumpstart a romantic gesture by taking care of the planning and
some of the initial details for a night out together. By letting him know
specifics of where you want to go, or what you want to do, or even reserving
the restaurant, you can initiate the romance and let him take over in doing the
rest. Oftentimes men can lack ambition, but make up for in being strong in
following up on things.
Men get distracted
Men can sometimes spend too much time with friends, TV, on
the computer, or other hobbies. Time that you want him to spend with you. Often,
women will want to just be with their man, even if they aren’t doing anything
in particular. Men have trouble understanding this. In their minds if they
aren’t doing a specific activity as a couple, it means that she doesn’t want to
be near him, or that it’s ok for him to go watch TV.
To stop this kind of behavior, be specific in how you want
to spend your time with him. Tell him that you want his undistracted attention
in taking you out for coffee. Many men have trouble doing nothing and sitting
still when there is no goal in mind. Using a clear objective that you want him
to achieve, it can help men to focus on the time you spend together as a
couple.
They just want sex
(no intimacy involved)
It is often a common problem in relationships that men can
want sex without intimacy from their partner. This can leave women feeling
used, or that they aren’t really loved. This problem can hurt any relationship.
Women will commonly give in to their partners demands for
sex and not get the intimacy they want in a relationship. What’s a needed
solution is to make a trade. By making him give you the intimacy first, then
giving him what he wants, both people are left satisfied in the relationship
and as a result the relationship becomes stronger. By giving him what he wants
without getting what you want, it is just passively damaging the relationship
as in the long run, you will just be left resenting his actions.
He doesn’t listen
Getting a man to listen can sometimes be frustrating in a
relationship. Some men don’t have a great attention span and can tune their
partner out when they start talking. To help him to get into the habit of
listening, try dispersing your conversation in smaller parts throughout his day
rather than dumping everything on him at once.
Another tip is in trading his listening and attention for
sex. Many women may not like this idea, but this shouldn’t be thought of as sex
and listening, but as 2 different forms of intimacy. Both are meant for a
relationship to grow stronger, and both are tools for developing intimacy.
All relationships will have their rough patches that come
with getting along with the opposite sex. What’s needed for relationships to
grow stronger is to learn from others who have experience with the fights and
problems that occur in them. By learning more about the opposite sex, along
with some insights from others, any relationship can be made beautiful and
lasting.
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